Short Straw

The kids asked why I don't blog more. Clearly, they like reading about their life through my eyes..........So, here goes again...........Until life interrupts.

We have started hiking and biking again. Okay.......it happened only this last weekend, but it's a start.

It has been determined (by the Powers That Be - who would be me) that, at night, when Perry and I are sleeping, the kids draw straws to see who should have The Attitude that day. It has been determined that they draw straws because it's never two kids, only one and almost always happens.

Just to get a good idea how this works..........Saturday we decided to hike Little Si. We haven't done this since last year. It was finally a bee-yoo-ti-ful day. E loaded up 4 bottles of water. Read that again. 4 bottles of water. Yes. FOUR. For 7 people for, what turned out to be, 4 hours. You may wonder why it took four hours. I wondered. But, I was there and realized it was because of The Attitude.

J-man drew the short straw during the night, Perry and I quickly became aware of. You see, there was NOTHING. No, NOTHING that was right about, how we walked, how we talked, how we didn't talk, why were we hiking instead of biking?, why was it muddy?, why did we have to do this stoopid activity?, why didn't we bring different snacks?, why?, complain, why?, mutter, why?, refuse to go forward, why?

The best part of The Attitude is that being in this large family of mainly males............would females be different? I tend to think so.................One is left to their own musings to get over The Attitude. Or not.

Or not - as it happens in this family. So, J determined to "tease", kindly of course, J-man out of The Attitude. J would get his Man Voice and say to J-man, "Use your Jedi-Master Man Voice." You see when J-man gets upset his voice becomes so high pitched that it is difficult to understand Complainese. So we ask him to, "Use your man voice." (This was Perry's tactful way of addressing this issue btw.)

When that didn't work, J would make himself smaller while following J-man saying, "I am here to serve Jedi Master. I am yours to order, to follow. I will do what you do." All the while following and mimicing J-man's actions.

I was trying to hold back the laughter, but it really is so hilarious. A lot more hilarious than the complaining. J-man didn't appreciate this At All. Big surprise there. Not.

This went on for quite a while. I fell back to my, "As long as you are moving in a forward motion, I will keep my mouth shut." method of operandi.

We eventually, with much complainese and much jedi-master training arrived at the top of Little Si to enjoy the rain. Yes, by the time we arrived it was raining. I assured the kids we wouldn't melt and we headed on home with 1/2 a bottle of water left. Which translates to........Little Miss gets the water and the rest of us can wait until we get home. That is due to her one kidney by the way. Not because she is more special than anyone else in the family.

Incidentally, Little Miss had a bag of Doritos which she held on to most of the hike, even when on Perry's shoulders, munching away and speaking plain English. Thank you Lord!

J had informed us upon our inquiry that not only do they draw straws, but there is a time limit on said Attitude. His would be starting at 7:30 p.m., J-man's was to end soon. That indeed did seem to turn out to be true when E decided to partake of The Attitude for the rest of the hike.

I have explained and begged the kids to pay careful attention to How Utterly Ridiculous it is to them when Anyone But Themselves has The Attitude. It is beyond them why The Attitudee doesn't just snap out of it. They really don't get what Their problem is.

I try to say, "Well, when it is you, remember this. We all feel the same way."

Alas, The Attitude became the joke of the weekend to all but the one in The Attitude. They all took turns to make our lives much more interesting. I have implored them to just all have The Attitude at the same time and then we can all enjoy the moment(s), but so far no one seems to heed my advice.