The Blood

First, I walk in after going to sleep at 4, waking at 8. Yes, A.M. all that. I had driven over 100 miles getting kids to soccer games while Perry stayed home and worked with Philip. I glanced at Philip's hand and see that the top of his hand is red and raised. I look closer and feel it, it is also hot. "What happened?" I ask. He tells me he cut it when he was fixing the subfloor of the hot water heater. I explain to him that it is infected and turning into cellulitis. He, of course, blows me off. I completely ignore him, go straight to the medicine cabinet and get supplies, dragging him outside (our water has been turned off all day) to doctor it.

Two minutes after I finish, E and J were throwing the bathroom cabinet off the deck trying to break it apart to fit it in the trailer to take to the dump. It was quite a spectacular throw until J turned to me calmly telling me he cut his finger. I ran to the bathroom, collect my meager supplies run back outside, grab a bottle of water to clean it. It's an inch long, bleeding quite nicely. I doctor it, adding many bandaids hoping to keep out infection. Topping it with a Hannah Montana bandaid. He was thrilled. I told him he should've let go sooner.

I lecture them about infection, pointing to Philip's hand as a perfect example. Thanks Phil. Elijah holds up his hand, saying, "Maybe you should put a bandaid on this." This turned out to be dried blood covering the palm of his hand. Doctored that. He received Angel Food Cake, Strawberry Shortcake, Curious George and Hello Kitty bandaid.

I cleaned up my not so sterile step on the porch and, seriously, while I was putting the stuff back in the cabinet E and J came running to me saying, "Mom come quick. Dad cut his hand." I ran, saw blood pouring down his wrist, told him to walk around to the not so sterile step while I collected the same supplies again. The wound wasn't nearly as impressive as J's, but it wouldn't stop bleeding and, remember, our water had been turned off all day so clean up was a little dicey. Eventually we got the blood off him and off me and he was rewarded with a Blueberry Muffin bandaid.

I figured if I went and revamped my supply of bandaids with some Super Heroes, Star Wars and such that Murphy's Law would come into effect and there would be no more injuries. So far, so good.

She

Perry and I were engaged in a conversation. Little Miss was listening and started walking away saying, "She, Daddy. She and R."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"She. It's She and R, not Her and R."

She was right. Grammar etiquette from a 6 yr old.

Awesome.

Tribute to J

J, you completely impressed me on the drive home today. Your skills with an espresso bean tin and two pens was awe-inspiring. Your ingenuity is astounding. Thanks for the 45 minutes of entertainment. I didn't really think you could keep it up that long. You proved me wrong. It was even worth the ever-present headache.

Short Straw

The kids asked why I don't blog more. Clearly, they like reading about their life through my eyes..........So, here goes again...........Until life interrupts.

We have started hiking and biking again. Okay.......it happened only this last weekend, but it's a start.

It has been determined (by the Powers That Be - who would be me) that, at night, when Perry and I are sleeping, the kids draw straws to see who should have The Attitude that day. It has been determined that they draw straws because it's never two kids, only one and almost always happens.

Just to get a good idea how this works..........Saturday we decided to hike Little Si. We haven't done this since last year. It was finally a bee-yoo-ti-ful day. E loaded up 4 bottles of water. Read that again. 4 bottles of water. Yes. FOUR. For 7 people for, what turned out to be, 4 hours. You may wonder why it took four hours. I wondered. But, I was there and realized it was because of The Attitude.

J-man drew the short straw during the night, Perry and I quickly became aware of. You see, there was NOTHING. No, NOTHING that was right about, how we walked, how we talked, how we didn't talk, why were we hiking instead of biking?, why was it muddy?, why did we have to do this stoopid activity?, why didn't we bring different snacks?, why?, complain, why?, mutter, why?, refuse to go forward, why?

The best part of The Attitude is that being in this large family of mainly males............would females be different? I tend to think so.................One is left to their own musings to get over The Attitude. Or not.

Or not - as it happens in this family. So, J determined to "tease", kindly of course, J-man out of The Attitude. J would get his Man Voice and say to J-man, "Use your Jedi-Master Man Voice." You see when J-man gets upset his voice becomes so high pitched that it is difficult to understand Complainese. So we ask him to, "Use your man voice." (This was Perry's tactful way of addressing this issue btw.)

When that didn't work, J would make himself smaller while following J-man saying, "I am here to serve Jedi Master. I am yours to order, to follow. I will do what you do." All the while following and mimicing J-man's actions.

I was trying to hold back the laughter, but it really is so hilarious. A lot more hilarious than the complaining. J-man didn't appreciate this At All. Big surprise there. Not.

This went on for quite a while. I fell back to my, "As long as you are moving in a forward motion, I will keep my mouth shut." method of operandi.

We eventually, with much complainese and much jedi-master training arrived at the top of Little Si to enjoy the rain. Yes, by the time we arrived it was raining. I assured the kids we wouldn't melt and we headed on home with 1/2 a bottle of water left. Which translates to........Little Miss gets the water and the rest of us can wait until we get home. That is due to her one kidney by the way. Not because she is more special than anyone else in the family.

Incidentally, Little Miss had a bag of Doritos which she held on to most of the hike, even when on Perry's shoulders, munching away and speaking plain English. Thank you Lord!

J had informed us upon our inquiry that not only do they draw straws, but there is a time limit on said Attitude. His would be starting at 7:30 p.m., J-man's was to end soon. That indeed did seem to turn out to be true when E decided to partake of The Attitude for the rest of the hike.

I have explained and begged the kids to pay careful attention to How Utterly Ridiculous it is to them when Anyone But Themselves has The Attitude. It is beyond them why The Attitudee doesn't just snap out of it. They really don't get what Their problem is.

I try to say, "Well, when it is you, remember this. We all feel the same way."

Alas, The Attitude became the joke of the weekend to all but the one in The Attitude. They all took turns to make our lives much more interesting. I have implored them to just all have The Attitude at the same time and then we can all enjoy the moment(s), but so far no one seems to heed my advice.

Suck Seed

"Mom, do you think I'll be able to suck seed?" Little Miss said to me cheerily.

"Ummmm.....suck seed?" I replied cautiously, wondering where this was headed.

"Yeah. Suck Seed." She pronounced very succinctly.

"Oh, you mean succeed." Whew

"Right. Suck Seed." Looking very confused.